Perspective
by Princess-of-Neverland
Summary: Ken faces the dilemma of joining the digidestined - seen through flashbacks


**Perspective**

_**AN: I own nothing**_

He sat on one of the control spires that stingmon had destroyed. He could vaguely hear the sound of his spiking strike obliterating them. However, it was so distant that Ken was barely certain that he wasn't imagining it. No, he was just too deep in thought.

_"Ken"_

_"Huh?"_

_He knew that voice. Out of all the digidestined that voice was the one most imprinted in his mind. It was one he always associated with a compulsive desire to do the right thing and aimed to combat all that stood in the way of his actions. He used to think of that voice as a worthy opponent but now he saw it as a more worthy person than he._

_"Hey!"_

_His mind was not deceiving him. The scarlet spiky hair was accompanied with the signature fighter goggles that pushed it off his face. He had his friendly smirk that was filled with a mixture of confidence (aka cockiness) and warmth. _

_"So what brings you all the way out here? Did you come to remind me I've been a bad boy?" he couldn't keep the bitterness out of his tone_

_"Come on, Ken! You've done some pretty rotten things but you're not an evil person" Davis shrugged chucking a pebble into the water_

_"I'm not?" he asked startled_

_"No"_

_Funny, Davis actually seemed to believe that. He'd never thought him to be especially bright but he had certainly never considered him naive. There was no manipulation or trickery that Ken could see in the other boy's eyes. So how could Davis simply believe he had changed?_

_"The person who designed the school lunch menu? Now that's an evil person...That was a joke, Ken" Davis sighed_

_"Sorry I guess I haven't been in a laughing mood lately" he hung his head sorrowfully_

_"That's ok"_

_Davis answered genuinely. Clearly his ego was big enough to take the hit of someone not finding his jokes funny. There was more than that though. There was always a warmth flowing from him that Ken could never wash away. _

_"Look, I have an idea! Why don't you come with me? You can meet my friends and tell them how sorry you are" Davis jumped at the idea eagerly_

_"But why? They hate me" he pointed out_

_"They don't hate you, Ken! They just don't understand you, I know you're sorry for what you've done but they don't" _

_Davis could understand him? Yeah, right. Davis had no idea what he was going through. He couldn't comprehend the guilt Ken felt with the knowledge he could never un-do his past crimes. Davis appeared to accept and understand why Ken was being so guarded and distant. However, Ken wasn't fooled. Davis would never understand._

_"What makes you so special?" Ken asked sceptically_

_"I never said I was special"_

_Actually as far as Ken was concerned if anyone was truly special it was Davis. Sure, he messed up the most out of all the real digidestined but he made up for it in everything he did. All the stuff his arrogance was founded on was the least impressive thing about him. The sports, the jokes, the humour...it was all so trivial. The fact that Davis wasn't just willing to talk to a monster but forgive? The fact that he would fight to protect his friends? That was what made Davis special. He knew this because when he'd been the digimon emperor he had tried to use those qualities against him. Yet those qualities continued to rescue him from the power of the darkness._

_"I just think you're better than you're giving yourself credit for" Davis grinned_

_"I'm not so sure" he replied doubtfully_

_"Look the digital world's been pretty freaky lately. We need your help. After all you're one of us digidestined" Davis encouraged_

_"Huh? Me? A digidestined?"_

_That was a twisted joke. Him a digidestined? The digidestined were supposed to protect digimon and the digital world. Ken had done nothing like that. He had just caused destruction and ruin. He had hurt innocent digimon with his evil and cruelty. That was not what digidestined did. Davis was proof of that._

_"That's right! Just one big happy family" the scarlet haired boy chuckled_

_"I don't know..."_

_Davis was talking to him as if it would be the easiest thing in the world. Did Davis really think it would just be that easy? He had done terrible things. Things that were truly evil. Despite, Davis' theory that the others just didn't __'__understand__'__ him; Ken didn't think they were quite as ready to forgive him._

_Davis was asking for a hell of a lot! He had to make the right decision. No one else should suffer for his mistakes. It wasn't fair on them. He had no right to spread the darkness and contaminate them with his evil._

_"Thanks, Davis. I appreciate you being honest with me but it just won't work. I can't join you!"_

_"What? What do you mean?"_

_"I just can't. Sorry!"_

_"Ken, where are you going? Come on, Ken, we could be your friends! Please don't turn your back on us!"_

"Ken are you ok?"

He woke up from his trance. He noticed a weary wormmon crawling towards him. He felt a slight pang of guilt for not noticing his digimon was so exhaused it had de-digivolved. Not that he blamed wormmon. It couldn't be easy destroying control spire after control spire.

"Sorry, wormmon, I should have noticed you were getting tired" he pulled the digimon onto his lap gently

"It's ok. Are you still thinking about what that boy Davis said to you?" wormmon eyed him with concern

"I thought you were asleep in my school bag" Ken asked surprised

"No. I just thought it might be easier if you thought I was" wormmon admitted

"I suppose in a way it was. Although, I can't stop thinking about before...you know when you DNA digivolved with XVmon"

_"Davis!" he exclaimed_

_He had been worried when Izzy had mentioned that Davis had been continuously sending emails. He knew that Davis wanted him to join the team but there was no way he would deliberately put the other digidestined in real danger just to prove a point._

_He was even more worried when he saw XVmon battling an ultimate on his own. He had barely even thought about what that might mean when he asked wormmon to digivolve. However, Davis' expression successfully conveyed his relief that his digimon wasn't fighting an ultimate alone anymore._

_"It's about time! And they doubted me!...Quick where's your crest?" he asked impatiently_

_"It's right here" Ken pulled out the gleaming pink crest_

_"Great! Give it here" Davis extended a hand excitedly_

_"What do you think you're doing?" he closed his hand around the crest_

_"Saving the world!"_

_Davis had answered him as if it were the most obvious answer. However, Ken had meant something different when he asked that question. He was really wondering how Davis could think he would let him pay for Ken's own mistakes. If Davis really believed that he had changed then why did he think Ken would let him risk his life for an evil person's errors?_

_"This is my responsibility! I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of me" Ken countered_

_"What are you trying to do? Get yourself killed? That's a genius move!" Davis snarled sarcastically_

_"It's my base. It's my crest. It's my responsibility. It's my fault. No one else is going to die for my mistakes, understand?" he replied forcefully_

_"We know the risks" Davis said softly_

_"Have you forgotten I was the digimon emperor! I was a monster! The only way I'll feel like a human again instead of a monster is to erase all trace of my evil. To fix things. The only way I can do that is with my own hands" every word was filled with self-loathing_

_"But Ken..." Davis began_

_"It doesn't matter what happens to me as long as I can accomplish my goal!"_

_Davis raised a furious hand and struck him on the side of the face. It stung a lot. However, it was definitely needed. It shocked him out of his need for isolated independence. _

_"Enough! I'm tired of your big bad wolf act!" Davis snapped_

_"He means lone wolf" XV-mon interjected_

_"That's what I mean! What he said! I'm not going to let you do this by yourself! Get it? What about the people who care about you? At least think of your digimon! We're here! We're helping and that's that! Wake up, Ichijochi!" Davis yelled_

_"Davis is right! Then what? Then how are you going to fix your mistakes?" XVmon piped up_

_"That's what I said! You're the genius Ken! You figure it out!" Davis pressed_

_"If I'm not here..." Ken began uncertainly_

_"Then what?"_

_He suddenly felt incredibly small and vulnerable. Even as the digimon emperor he'd found that Davis' passionate glare made him uneasy. It was disturbing how determined and resolute it was. He refused to let the darkness leak through and touch people. At the moment Ken's emotions were dragging back into the darkness. Ken knew that the fact that he allowed that to happen to himself was what was driving Davis crazy._

_"Ok so you messed up a few times! You think I haven't? I do it all the time! Don't give up! Fix it!" Davis snapped_

_"I don't know how"_

_Back when he was the digimon emperor he thought he understood everything about the darkness. Now that he was just Ken he understood nothing of it. In a way that was good because now he wasn't the one causing the pain but the problem with that is now he didn't know how to stop it. He felt utterly useless. _

_"You think I do? You just keep trying until something works! And when it gets really bad you hang with your friends because there always your friends! Even when you mess up!" Davis bellowed at him adamantly_

_"Great! So what if you don't happen to have any friends!"_

_The digivices lit up. A river of blue and purple light poured out of them and engulfed the two digidestined. It unnerved Ken. Some sort of connection appeared to have been forged between them. He could have sworn he could hear Davis' heart beating beside his. _

_"So this is what it's like to have a friend...it's not that bad" Ken thought to himself_

_They both watched in terrified fascination as their digimon became a blinding light silhouette. With an incredible speed the light entwined the two digimon and produced..._

_"Paildramon?" Davis and Ken gasped in unison_

_"That's us" Paildramon replied proudly_

_"Our digimon is great!" Davis cheered_

_"Our digimon?" he asked surprised_

_"We're working together now! That's the power of friendship!" Davis' face glowed happily as he pointed to paildramon_

_"I guess..."_

"Wormmon, what did it feel like? You know...when you DNA digivolved with XVmon" Ken asked shyly

"I liked it. It just felt right. It made me feel like we were needed again. Why? did you feel something too?" Wormmon asked intrigued

"I think so but it was scary"

He wasn't sure how to explain what he'd felt. It was as if he and Davis were being bound by some higher power. It had been completely spine tingling. As he watched stingmon and XV-mon become one he'd become utterly terrified. He had been forced to accept that Davis really wanted his friendship and was willing to fight for it.

"If you didn't like it I won't DNA digivolve again but was it the DNA digivolving that scared you or the idea of having a friend?" wormmon asked perceptively

"I don't deserve to have someone like Davis as a friend" Ken muttered resentfully

"Why? He thinks you deserve to have him as a friend"

_"We make a good team too" Davis extended his hand_

_"Hmm" he was about to accept but thought better of it_

_"What's wrong?" Davis asked puzzled_

_"I just don't feel like I deserve to be friends with any of you at all" he sighed_

_"Boy! That's a lot of baloney! Look, Ken, you've earned our friendship!" Davis' eyes lit up as he spoke_

_"I have?" Ken questioned uncertainly_

_The idea of having the friendship of the other digidestined was too good to be true. Too have their friendship would be truly wonderful. However, it would all be meaningless unless he had genuinely earned it. There was still voice of darkness niggling away at him. Constantly reminding him all the reasons he didn't deserve their friendship._

_"Yeah! Sure, you started out all mean and evil but you decided to change and become one of us and working hard like that builds the strongest kind of friendship there is! Trust me, I know friendship! After all we've been through, we're friends! And I'm absolutely not going to take no for an answer!"_

_Davis did understand friendship. After all he was the one always chasing after him in an aim to include him in their fight. He wished he knew how to be a friend like Davis. Someone who was willing to fight to the death to protect his friends. Unfortunately being a friend like Davis or having a friend like Davis would forever be his Holy Grail._

_"I don't know! I've done a lot of bad things! Things I'm not proud of at all!"_

Ken was still convinced he didn't deserve to have a friend like Davis. Davis was someone who would be a good friend. He was the kind of friend you knew would always be there for you. He was filled with the traits that made a hero. Admittedly, Davis could be a tactless jerk but he was uncommonly kind when it came to friendship. Davis should have had the crest of kindness. Not him.

"What crest does Davis have?" Ken mused to himself

"You don't know?" wormmon looked puzzled

"You do?" he asked stunned

"I felt it when I DNA digivolved with XV-mon. It was like they were the powerful forces in any world"

What had he felt in the moment he had been linked with Davis? Well he had felt a lot of things. There had been some sort of energy pulsating through him. It had been so overwhelming and sent a warmth right through him. He had felt it's power coursing through his body. It had been an energy made up of...

"The crest of courage and the crest of friendship" Ken realised

"Yes. At least that was what I felt with XV-mon" wormmon nodded

"I wonder if he felt my crest. Of course, that's assuming it actually works for me"

He doubted the crest had ever truly been his. Courage and friendship suited Davis perfectly. Even without knowing those were Davis' crests those traits radiated from him constantly. Unlike Ken's crest of kindness. For a long time no one would have guessed that...out of all the crests...his would have been kindness.

"I'm sure he did Ken. That boy Davis believes in you" wormmon comforted

"I just wish I knew why. I've done such terrible things. I was a monster" he groaned

"He believes in you because you're not that person anymore" wormmon soothed

"I wish I believed that too" Ken murmured


End file.
